Birth Story: An Accidental Car Birth
Original birth story https://www.thereclaimedvillage.com/post/birth-story-an-accidental-car-birth
As always, posted with permission from the client
Approaching Birth
Almost everyone I know who's ever been pregnant thinks their baby is coming early. Even though my other 3 were all born after their estimated due dates (1 day, 9 days, and 9 days "late"), I was still somewhat convinced that this baby could be different.
Call it wishful thinking, or pregnant naivety 😛.
I especially wanted this baby "on time" because I was due in February (2/28). I already had a kid with a March birthday (and one with an April birthday too), and I wanted this baby to have their own birth month.
On 2/29, in a last ditch effort for a February baby without too much intervention, we opted to try a membrane sweep. My midwife, Brieana, had to be convinced, since there wasn't really a medical reason to evict baby at 40+1... but she respected my desperation for a February baby (plus, Leap Day would've been cool!).
In 4 pregnancies, this was my first membrane sweep, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I'd always heard them described as an especially painful cervical check, but that wasn't my experience at all (maybe it helped that I was in my own bed at home, with a provider I trusted?). Brieana found that my baby's head was super duper low, but my cervix was posterior behind their head. She pulled the cervix forward onto baby's head, and it stretched to 4cm open. When she was done, I felt a physical relief. Like my cervix needed to be better aligned with where baby's head was at.
It was so validating to hear how low baby was, because I was pretty physically uncomfortable at this point and walking was significantly harder than it had been at the end of my other pregnancies. I had worked out pretty regularly up until ~39 weeks pregnant, but with baby sitting so low in my pelvis, exercise was out and daily naps were in at this point.
After the sweep, I had some big contractions, but they fizzled out by dinner.
So we continued on with our plan to wait for labor to begin on its own. I spent my time distracting myself with small bursts of activity for 30-60 minutes, followed by a few hours of laying down. Physically I was exhausted, but mentally I was content to wait for baby to pick their birthday.
On March 13th, after weeks of big contractions every day without labor, we reached 42 weeks - the point where almost all providers recommend a medical induction. I was so grateful that Brieana offered the option, but didn't pressure me to induce, or transfer me out of their care! We had been doing regular monitoring (ultrasounds, non-stress tests, etc.) and I felt confident continuing the pregnancy.
The Beginning of Labor + Homebirth Plans:
At 3am on March 15h (42+2), a big contraction woke me up. Another one at 4am. And a third at 5:30am when two of my big kids climbed into my bed and I got up for the day.
My oldest kid was sick, and my husband, John, was helping her. So I called my mom. "This isn't labor, I'm just tired and uncomfortable and need your help with the other kids while John takes care of the sick one. Can you come over? Take a shower, grab some breakfast... we're in no hurry."
I texted my team around 6:30am to let them know that maybe today was it, but I was in total denial that it could be true. I'd sent that text before...
I asked my kids to go downstairs and make themselves breakfast, and I went to try and lay down for a bit.
At 7:09am I had a contraction that was so big it brought me to my hands and knees in surrender, and had me screaming for John.
7:12am another one.
7:15am another one.
John: "let's get your team here please."
Me: "no, I've only had three big contractions. This isn't labor. I'll just get in the shower for a bit." I was in complete denial that this could possibly be go-time. My previous three labors had started out much slower, lasted much longer, and I hadn't needed my birth team for 12+ hours. This sudden onset of intense contractions was new to me.
John: "I'm not telling you what to do, but I'm telling you I'm calling in your team if you don't..."
Me, in the shower: "I think I have to push" (spoiler alert: it was just 💩).
John: *calming dialing without me seeing*
By ~7:45am my doula, midwife, birth photographer, and midwife's assistant were all in my bathroom quietly setting up.
Just after 8am, my water broke with a huge burst as I was sitting on a birth stool. The amniotic fluid was dark green, indicative of thick meconium (meaning: baby's first poop happened in utero). But baby's heartbeat was stable and Brieana told me she could see a tiny bit of their head. We weren't concerned about the meconium given we thought birth was imminent.
But when I tried to push, I could feel the energy wasn't going in the right spot - I was just pushing out fluid and more 💩 (turns out when babies are engaged in your pelvis for a few weeks, things get backed up...). My back felt like it was going to split open with every contraction.
I asked Brieana for a cervical check, to make sure the cervix was fully dilated and out of the way. She checked, and it was. But something wasn't right.
Over the next two and a half hours, we changed positions a billion times. Sometimes I moved intuitively, and sometimes the team made suggestions. At one point, Brieana said she suspected baby was in an asynclitic and OP position.
During this time, the kids hung out with my mom and participated in the birth as much or as little as they wanted. My oldest took a 45-minute cell phone video of my vulva as I was trying to push, my youngest read me a picture book, and all three snacked on bagels while I screamed through contractions. They were unphased by the noises - we had prepped them by showing them unedited birth videos, so they knew it was normal.
John and my doula never left my side, giving me hip squeezes, counter pressure on my back, and lots of emotional support.
By 10:30am, I was suffering.
Me: "something's wrong. This baby is stuck. We need to go to the hospital."
My midwife: "ok, do you want me to do a cervical check first, and see if there's been any change since your water broke two and a half hours ago?"
Sure.
No change.
After the check, I shot out of bed, and my doula helped me get dressed for the transfer: a dry bra (why did I think I needed a bra? IDK...😛), a dress, and an adult diaper because I was still leaking a ton of amniotic fluid with each contraction. They were coming so fast and strong at this point, it felt like I had 10 seconds in between before the next one would hit me like a truck. I was screaming and thrashing through them, definitely not coping well.
I grabbed my phone and wallet, and flew down the stairs. This was my third out of hospital birth (only my first baby was born in the hospital), and I hadn't packed a just-in-case hospital bag. In that moment, I figured we'd get the essentials from the hospital, and worry about anything else later.
My mom and kids were casually watching TV in the living room. We told them that we were headed to the hospital for some extra tools, since baby seemed stuck. They shrugged and went back to their show, completely not phased.
I could hear Brieana on the phone with the OB at one of the nearby hospitals (~12 minutes away), letting her know we were on our way. She said she was just wrapping up with another birth and she'd meet us in triage. I'm so grateful for Minnesota's laws that make my midwife's license and practice legal, so she can call a hospital for help without fear of repercussions. I'm also grateful to that hospitalist OB for taking the call and being ready to help without judgement. These partnerships are a big part of what makes me feel safe giving birth at home.
We went out the back door and down four steps to get to my car, parked in the alleyway. I had to stop on every step for a contraction, screaming, and hoping my neighbors weren't home watching this at 10:45am on a sunny Friday morning.
Unplanned Transfer:
My doula came with me and John (thank goodness), and my midwife and birth photographer both drove their own cars. My mom stayed home with the kids, and my midwife's assistant stayed back to clean up the home birth supplies.
As we were leaving, I heard my doula ask my midwife: "we're going by private car, not an ambulance, right?" and Brieana confirmed. We all felt like this baby was super stuck, and nobody prepared for baby to come before we got to the hospital for help...
I climbed into the captains chair in the middle row of my SUV, but the way we were parked up against the neighbor's garage, there was no way for my doula to get in next to me, and I wasn't moving. So she went through the trunk (my third row happened to be down). She was still trying to figure out how to close the trunk behind her as John started to back out.
Trunk closed, and we were off to the hospital.
I was sitting tipped on my right hip (baby was too low in my pelvis to sit normally), left hand gripping the door for dear life and right hand gripping the seat's armrest. I semi-consciously realized I was risking the door flying open on I-94, and managed to lock it 😆
My doula was behind me, and couldn't reach me to squeeze my hips (though she tried!). So she resorted to trying to talk me through visualizations and breathing exercises while I mostly just screamed.
I know it felt futile to her, but her words really did help ground me, and know that I was safe and supported. And every once in a while, she'd say something that would resonate with me and get me through a contraction or two. "We're gonna get some relief soon" became my battle cry.
John had set his GPS for the hospital, but decided to follow the route our midwife was taking so we'd stay together. Brieana took a strategic route to the hospital that was a few minutes slower because she wanted to stay on a road where we could more easily pull over. Poor John, watching the ETA increase...
As we were approaching the hospital, something felt different. I could feel baby descending.
The Baby is Coming!
Me: "I feel his head."
John: *quickly calls Brieana and tells her to pull over*
My doula (not processing what I'm saying): "picture a feather in the air, and let's keep it in the air with our breath."
Me, calmly, without fear: "head is out."
My doula (now processing) jumped into the captains chair next to me, and ripped off the diaper I was still wearing. I reached down and felt vernix-covered hair. She caught the baby as they smoothly slipped out on the next push.
She promptly burst into tears 😆❤️
Shaking with adrenaline, she unwrapped the cord twice from around his neck, and passed him up to me just as John was pulling over in the hospital parking lot.
Within 30-60 seconds of birth, the door flew open behind me, and Brieana was on baby with a stethoscope. Baby started to cry right away, so she moved around to the other side of the car and hopped in next to me. My doula climbed back into the trunk.
Midwife: "we have to get baby warm."
Me: "there's a bag of kids' clothes in the trunk that I've been meaning to take to Goodwill..."
Doula: *throws a million 4T PJs and one very nice white jacket at us*
As we worked on getting baby warm, I could feel my placenta ready to come out. Brieana caught it in a PJ.
Midwife: "somebody tell me what time it is!"
11:05am for placenta birth.
Based on that, and the photo time stamps, we estimated baby was born at 11:02am.
We stayed put in the hospital parking lot for a few minutes while we made sure my bleeding was under control and baby was content and warm on my chest. Once we were sure everything was ok, Brieana called the hospitalist OB back and told her thanks, but we no longer needed her services. She asked if we wanted to check into postpartum, and I declined.
Sorry, Hospitalist, We Actually Do Not Need You…
But thank you for being available!
My midwife stayed with me in my car as we drove home, holding the placenta which was still attached to baby.
Baby's first car ride.
We drove home from the hospital and met my mom and kids in the driveway.
I asked the kids later if they were sad they missed the birth, and they said "yah, kinda, but it's ok mama, we know you needed to go to the hospital." I was so glad we prepared them for any outcome.
I went straight to my bathtub for a soak, while the team did baby's newborn exam on my bed, and made sure he was doing ok. My doula stayed by my side and brought me snacks and drinks.
Even though this birth was by far the fastest of my four, it was also probably the hardest. Labor went from 0-60 in .4 seconds, and then I spent ~3 hours trying to push out a malpositioned baby. There was almost no break between contractions, and they were the most painful ones I've ever experienced. And then he was born unexpectedly in a spot that we didn't plan for, with minimal supplies, and missing most of the birth team.
But I'm not traumatized at all.
I love my birth story.
First, all turned out well, so that's important.
But second, I never felt scared. I always felt supported and cared for by my team. They never coerced me into anything I didn't want, and they listened to me when I said something was wrong and it was time to go to the hospital.
And even in the car, when I was pushing him out essentially unassisted, I felt zero fear. My body took over, and I trusted myself. It was the first time in four labors that I had felt a baby descend, and I worked with baby to birth him under control. It's why I didn't tear, even though he had the biggest head of my babies (15in).
Hiring the right team for me, knowing my options, and trusting that my body knew how to give birth (even if we might have needed a few extra tools from the hospital), all made this experience wonderful.
A few days after the birth, my oldest daughter said, "now that you know that car birth is a possibility, you should definitely warn other pregnant people." 😆
But actually, what I'd say to you all is: car birth IS a possibility. And it doesn't have to be a bad one.
